"Dear Lord, I am reading all of these books and testimonies about how people just ask and speak and it comes about....why not me? Where is my faith? Do I not have enough? You say to ask and believe and we will receive but it doesn't seem like much has gone my way with this pregnancy. Yes, I am thankful, but can't I just have the desire of my heart for a natural birth and not have to go through what I have experienced before? I will go ahead and speak by faith the things I am believing and I will ask you to deliver them and yes, you have given me words, but how long Lord?"
I found myself in this conversation as I awaited the arrival of our son! (OUR SON! I can say that!) I was constantly doubting the words the Lord had given me from His word. Psalm 3, Psalm 89 and Psalm 115, not to mention that Andy had verses from the bible that he felt the Lord had shown him. Faith is what we hope for and not for the things we see...(Rom.5) and then I started doing what I knew..read Romans 4-believing God could do what he promised to do just like he did for Sarah and Abraham. More than anything I wanted Owen to come on his own and not have to be induced and all of those things that were stirring fear in me. The wait...I waited and I felt labor and no baby. The due date came and went and so did the signs of "false" labor. I found myself not even wanting to speak that I was feeling labor because it would stop every time I did! I had to set an induction date-trying to still believe, knowing that it was better to be a fool believing in my God than to not believe that He can do what seems impossible.
I found myself having contractions on a Tuesday afternoon. They were consistent more than ever. I went about doing my own thing and Andy and I went to bed that night with little anticipation as we had some false alarms before. And then at 4:10am I had a huge contraction and my water broke! I knew it was it. God answered my prayer! My God is faithful. I labored (with Andy as my coach-he labored too) for 6 more hours and at 10:13am Owen Jackson arrived. He is my baby that reminds me of my faithful God and how when we believe RIGHTEOUSNESS is credited to our account. I have never been sad that I have put all my trust in Jesus. I have never been sad that I look like a fool when I speak things into fruition. God does not allow us to be fools. His timing was perfect and His gifts are better than we can ask or imagine. Owen is a gift-a gift of righteousness as I was forced to fall to my face and acknowledge my dependence on God and His promises. Believe. It's worth it.
Owen Jackson Hull
March 30,2011
10:13 am
8lb 11oz
21 inches
